If you're a dreamer, a wisher, a liar, a hoper, a prayer, a magic bean buyer...

Home sweet home. (for the next 10 days at least)

Sometimes I have these out of body moments where I step back and marvel at the sheer ridiculousness of my life. I got home from work at about 20 after ten o'clock at night. I'm always hungry after work. Normally, when you're hungry, you head for the kitchen, open the fridge, take a quick peek, grab something, & have at it. I, however, had to take the elevator down to the lobby, elbow my way through a crowded restaurant/bar full of strangers in business suits, people on vacation, & a handful of my Radio City family to pick up my carry out order. Pesto pizza. (not vegan. :( Shame on me, but there is a very limited menu this late at night) It's loud, karaoke night...People look at me funny...Hey, I may be wearing flowery boxer shorts & slippers but you're wasted, singing the worst rendition of Journey's "Don't Stop Believing" that I've ever heard. How cliche.

"Just another day @ the office"

Work today, was 10 hours of lighting & working through the technical aspects of maybe the first 30 minutes of the show. Yes, 10 hours of tech = 30 minutes of a smooth running show. (& we're teching really quickly for a new show) It's tedious. Every one's balls (of their feet ;) hurt. It takes forever, but it's part of our J.O.B. & totally necessary. We can stand on stage in one spot for 15 minutes at a time while they light us, not incredibly exciting. Then after hours of standing we have to kick it into gear and run a full number with track, at tempo. 5, 6, 7, 8...We just get more tired & more slap happy...by the end of the night we're all on stage telling jokes, playing telephone, doing the wave & saying the most random things.

Keltie: " you know how before the fall (in Soldiers) the cannon comes out and shoots?'

Me: "Yea?"

Keltie: "What if instead of the flag coming out of the cannon, Fergie came out & sang 'Boom Boom Pow'?"

I love my friends. Tech is painful, being surrounded by wonderful people makes it so much better. I mean, it's going to happen, like it or not. So we may as well make the best of it. We really haven't gotten a moment to breathe since we got here. We traveled all day, got in late last night & started fairly early this morning. My room is a mess, I'm just now finding time to read my news paper. (ps - This article is super interesting, if you want a good read: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/20/opinion/20brooks.html?_r=1 )

Walking back into Hershey Arena after a full year was so strange. It's always exciting to see the stage for the first time, & super fun to see guys working on the crew that I made friends with last year. Another branch of my big, beautiful Radio City family. Coming back here, to the same hotel & arena, inspired some unexpected emotion. Dragging my luggage into my room for the first time in a year somehow reminded me of the place I was in emotionally & mentally last year. (PS- Hershey, PA is on Food Network right now! How crazy!) I was not in a good place at all, I was incredibly unhappy & equally unhealthy. It took me almost the whole night & all of today to figure out what to do with this awful deja vu. I realized it wasn't that difficult. Reliving that unhappiness made me check in with myself & appreciate the great strides I've made in the past year, leaving me feeling very grateful. It's amazing how much can happen in a year.

I'm thankful, slap happy, accomplished, achy, proud, caffinated (I needed a diet coke.) & kind of exhausted...All things considered, it's not a terrible place to be. Goodnight!