Dear Robert Zimmerman:

"I consider myself a poet first and a musician second. I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet. "

Today is the 69th birthday of one of the dreamiest men to ever walk the earth. Happy Birthday Bob Dylan. Thank you for being a poet, a preacher, a folk legend, a genius, a religious chameleon, a voice of a generation, a revolutionary, & one of the loves of my life. I wish you many, many more & I'd still kiss you even though you're 69.

Brute Force

Today was magical. A dear friend of mine convinced me to put down my book for a couple hours & take in a show with him. After a particularly frustrating day, & in my ongoing attempt to shake at least a little bit of my anti social tendencies, I threw on a dress & heels & headed out the door to meet him in Union Square. (At that point in time, not realizing that he was staying only two blocks from my apartment.) Somehow, while still running my typical ten minutes late, I managed to beat him downtown & took it as an opportunity to sit at the one empty picnic table in the park & enjoy the last few rays of sunshine on a particularly balmy New York afternoon. There were throngs of people coming and going in every direction set to the soundtrack of a saxophone being played somewhere on the other side of the park. I must say, all was right in the world. Eventually an older man joined me, inquiring about my tattoo & then my book, two subjects that delight me to no end. As the time came for me to meet my friend at the theater, in the midst of our goodbyes, he told me that I was radiant.

What struck me about it was that he wasn't complimenting my long eyelashes, or my straight teeth, he was complimenting how my appreciation for life shows in my face, he was complimenting my veracity, my graciousness & my love for the universe. I was really taken aback & really, really flattered. I am really happy with life, I guess it shows in my face, even to strangers. It's a lovely way to be, I highly recommend it.

Anyways, on to Fuerza Bruta, I met my friend at the front of the theater, & as we made our way up the narrow staircase amidst the other patrons, I asked where our seats were, to which he replied, 'oh we're not sitting...this show is standing room only.' (Which would have been fantastic to know before hand, I would have maybe not gone with a 4 inch heel.)

When I say that I spent the next hour of my life watching a show, I mean 'show' only in the bear bones of the definition because I was watching someone else perform. It was more of an experience, I don't really know how else to put it. It was a shockingly brilliant sensory overload. I was wide eyed, standing on my toes, dancing, shouting, terrified, confused, enraptured, smiling, waving, clapping, staring face to face with one of the most beautiful performers I have ever seen through a transparent mylar pool suspended from the ceiling hanging only inches over my head...it was unlike anything I've ever seen. I immediately changed my life plan to performing with this company of amazing, beautiful people. I don't know how else to describe it. Whatever they were, the conditions in my brain & my soul were just right for them to grab ahold of me, wring me out & leave me wide awake & magical. I loved it. Stop whatever it is that you're doing & go see it. Now. I'll even go with you. Let's go dance.

The truth is a bully we all pretend to like.

"& the choices that you make, between hating & forgiving, can become the story of your life."

pg. 3. Shantaram -Gregory David Roberts

(reading it right now & completely obsessed)

The one thing we always, always carry with us; in in our suitcases across the country, in our favorite handbags & briefcases to work day after day, our dance bags, gym bags, clutches, reusable shopping bags & even in our back pockets in our worst, most vulnerable, selfish moments, is our freedom. The freedom to love, hate, forgive, forget, let go, to leave, stay, fix, or break. At our richest, poorest, happiest, saddest, most furious times in our lives. Free will is one of the few things that connects each & every person on this planet; it's what we choose to do with it that separates us.

It's the reason we, despite our best efforts, have little to no control over our surroundings encompassing others. There is absolutely no way to control another creature of free will. We're all at the mercy of the entire universe, full of millions of billions of currents of free will, each one with it's own set of intents, hopes, fears, dreams, wants, ect. As much as I use mine to love, someone else is free to hate. Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. (Shari R. Barr) I couldn't possibly imagine something more true. Expect nothing from the universe & be grateful for the good you find in the world every day. Fact: Life is unpredictable. What can you do? You can wear your self pity like a shroud & close yourself off to the world, or you can be free to wake up tomorrow with fresh eyes, a fresh mind & a fresh heart, even when you have to fight for it. Be free to forgive & to love because you do have a choice, & it does become your life story.

"As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility."

-Arnold Toynbee

Inspired.

Two of my very, very favorite dancers working together. Magic.

I don't need anyone to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we will ever have is the one with ourselves.

"Acknowledgement is a no-kidding, unvarnished, bottom-line, truthful confrontation with yourself about what you are doing or not doing, or what you are putting up with in your life that is destructive. It's not some pious, phoney-baloney, half-hearted rendition of what you think they want to hear. Nor is it a watered-down, politically correct 'confession' that you think will buy you closure at the expense of truth. I mean brutal reality: slapping yourself in the face and admitting what you are doing to screw up your life. This also means admitting that you are getting payoffs for what you're doing, however sick or subtle those payoffs are."

-- Philip C. McGraw (from "Life Strategies")

What have you been feeding your soul lately?