The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dreams
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your
fingers and toes
without cautioning us to
be careful
be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.

If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand on the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
"Yes."

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the center of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

(Oriah Mountain Dreamer)

wan-der-lest

Soul is hot & heavy. Spirit is cool, abstract, detached. Soul is connected to the earth & it's waters. Spirit is connected to the sky & it's gases. Out of the gases springs fire.

Obsessed

Hi Mumford & Sons, your music is epic. You make banjos look cooler than I have ever seen them look. Where have you been hiding all of this time?

It's so reassuring when every so often I find music from this century that doesn't make me want to barf.

Dear Robert Zimmerman:

"I consider myself a poet first and a musician second. I live like a poet and I'll die like a poet. "

Today is the 69th birthday of one of the dreamiest men to ever walk the earth. Happy Birthday Bob Dylan. Thank you for being a poet, a preacher, a folk legend, a genius, a religious chameleon, a voice of a generation, a revolutionary, & one of the loves of my life. I wish you many, many more & I'd still kiss you even though you're 69.

Brute Force

Today was magical. A dear friend of mine convinced me to put down my book for a couple hours & take in a show with him. After a particularly frustrating day, & in my ongoing attempt to shake at least a little bit of my anti social tendencies, I threw on a dress & heels & headed out the door to meet him in Union Square. (At that point in time, not realizing that he was staying only two blocks from my apartment.) Somehow, while still running my typical ten minutes late, I managed to beat him downtown & took it as an opportunity to sit at the one empty picnic table in the park & enjoy the last few rays of sunshine on a particularly balmy New York afternoon. There were throngs of people coming and going in every direction set to the soundtrack of a saxophone being played somewhere on the other side of the park. I must say, all was right in the world. Eventually an older man joined me, inquiring about my tattoo & then my book, two subjects that delight me to no end. As the time came for me to meet my friend at the theater, in the midst of our goodbyes, he told me that I was radiant.

What struck me about it was that he wasn't complimenting my long eyelashes, or my straight teeth, he was complimenting how my appreciation for life shows in my face, he was complimenting my veracity, my graciousness & my love for the universe. I was really taken aback & really, really flattered. I am really happy with life, I guess it shows in my face, even to strangers. It's a lovely way to be, I highly recommend it.

Anyways, on to Fuerza Bruta, I met my friend at the front of the theater, & as we made our way up the narrow staircase amidst the other patrons, I asked where our seats were, to which he replied, 'oh we're not sitting...this show is standing room only.' (Which would have been fantastic to know before hand, I would have maybe not gone with a 4 inch heel.)

When I say that I spent the next hour of my life watching a show, I mean 'show' only in the bear bones of the definition because I was watching someone else perform. It was more of an experience, I don't really know how else to put it. It was a shockingly brilliant sensory overload. I was wide eyed, standing on my toes, dancing, shouting, terrified, confused, enraptured, smiling, waving, clapping, staring face to face with one of the most beautiful performers I have ever seen through a transparent mylar pool suspended from the ceiling hanging only inches over my head...it was unlike anything I've ever seen. I immediately changed my life plan to performing with this company of amazing, beautiful people. I don't know how else to describe it. Whatever they were, the conditions in my brain & my soul were just right for them to grab ahold of me, wring me out & leave me wide awake & magical. I loved it. Stop whatever it is that you're doing & go see it. Now. I'll even go with you. Let's go dance.

The truth is a bully we all pretend to like.

"& the choices that you make, between hating & forgiving, can become the story of your life."

pg. 3. Shantaram -Gregory David Roberts

(reading it right now & completely obsessed)

The one thing we always, always carry with us; in in our suitcases across the country, in our favorite handbags & briefcases to work day after day, our dance bags, gym bags, clutches, reusable shopping bags & even in our back pockets in our worst, most vulnerable, selfish moments, is our freedom. The freedom to love, hate, forgive, forget, let go, to leave, stay, fix, or break. At our richest, poorest, happiest, saddest, most furious times in our lives. Free will is one of the few things that connects each & every person on this planet; it's what we choose to do with it that separates us.

It's the reason we, despite our best efforts, have little to no control over our surroundings encompassing others. There is absolutely no way to control another creature of free will. We're all at the mercy of the entire universe, full of millions of billions of currents of free will, each one with it's own set of intents, hopes, fears, dreams, wants, ect. As much as I use mine to love, someone else is free to hate. Expecting life to treat you well because you are a good person is like expecting an angry bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian. (Shari R. Barr) I couldn't possibly imagine something more true. Expect nothing from the universe & be grateful for the good you find in the world every day. Fact: Life is unpredictable. What can you do? You can wear your self pity like a shroud & close yourself off to the world, or you can be free to wake up tomorrow with fresh eyes, a fresh mind & a fresh heart, even when you have to fight for it. Be free to forgive & to love because you do have a choice, & it does become your life story.

"As human beings, we are endowed with freedom of choice, and we cannot shuffle off our responsibility upon the shoulders of God or nature. We must shoulder it ourselves. It is our responsibility."

-Arnold Toynbee

Inspired.

Two of my very, very favorite dancers working together. Magic.